I started a series of blog posts a few months ago after a sermon my Pastor preached that touched my heart. I called them "My Love Affair With God", Part 1, 2, and 3. I am still on this journey, trying to understand God's love more completely and seeking healing in certain areas of my life. I have found writing to be very helpful and so I am continuing, but not just about my love affair with God. I want to share some of the amazing things that God has brought me through and some of the blessings that He planted throughout my life to show me He was real, even when I denied His existence. I base my rants on a scripture God woke me up in the middle of the night with in 2004 when I was pregnant. It must have been God because what else could have interrupted the unshakable slumber of a moody and overworked woman with a child in her belly, sucking all of the nutrients and energy from her to sustain its precious life? I was so annoyed when I opened up my Bible that night and could not decipher the text:
Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another: and the Lord hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon his name.
-Malachi 3:16
I still do not understand the purpose behind God sending me to this portion of scripture. Maybe He will reveal it to me through these rants, or maybe I will have to wait until He brings me back to Him. Either way, I am driven to write for the sake of my own sanity and documenting my mostly unknown history.
The first story I want to share is about my Cinderella experience with a well known actor, director, and writer who I will leave nameless for the sake of his privacy. This story has never been told to any person in its entirety, partly because people don't really enjoy hearing you talk about yourself. I can understand this, and I am guilty of it too. I also don't enjoy talking about it because I truly despise our star struck culture that thrives on celebrity gossip and photos. Anywhere I go where someone has heard that I once met this person always brings it up. I could have an axe in the side of my head and be engulfed in flames and the first and only thing a person will say to me is, "Did you really meet so and so?" I would bleed to death and set off every smoke alarm in a square mile until I satisfied their curiosity and vulturistic craving to peck at the crumbs of my life that have mingled with "important people". I always respond briefly, and politely because my Pastor said that famous people are intriguing - that's what draws people to them, and that I should not be so offended. But all I see is big fat IDOLATRY, and I am sure it is my own issue.
In the year of 2001, I was 23, and living in Downtown Denver in the Rio Grand lofts right off 16th street. I had a successful local Swing/Blues band called "The V Band", and I had just been fired from my Office Management job because my passion for my band was overtly unequal to my passion for my job. This has been a very shameful trend in my life and it is only by the grace of God that I am currently employed, and earning a decent living today. One of the Executives at my work had been to a few of my shows and said that he really believed in my talent. He was an older gentleman in his late 50's who had a lot of money and had been recently divorced. When he heard that I was fired, he offered me $2,500 a month to work for him as his assistant. He told me that he wanted me to have time and money to pursue my dreams. Being that it was double what I was used to making, and that he said he believed in my talent, it was an offer I could not refuse. He took me shopping to buy me work clothes and I felt like "Pretty Woman", without the prostitute part of course. He bought me a $5,000 Armani evening suit that I still have to this day and several other elegant items. I never slept with him because I was never that kind of girl, but looking back, I know that was his motive. In my nievity back then, I actually thought he believed in my talent and wanted to help see my dreams come true, out of the goodness of his heart.
With money in my pocket, and a my new open work schedule, I began weeding through my music contacts to try to shop my demo around and get my music career going. I had been considered for a movie role by a local film writer who had a bunch of contacts in the entertainment industry. The movie never got funding, but I had kept all of the names and numbers I had collected throughout the project, and called them one by one. The first appointment I was able to book was with a guy I will call "Abercrombie". He was somehow affiliated with the movie project I was working with the film writer on, but I had never met him or spoke to him in person. He agreed to have lunch with me in Los Angeles where he lived and so I booked a flight out to LA. The man I was working for took me to the airport and helped me with my travel details and hotel. I flew in on Friday and stayed in a lovely Rits hotel and set up a lunch meeting at Cafe Med on Sunset strip for Saturday at noon. I had a friend who lived in LA and he was kind enough to drive me to the appointment because I was not old enough to rent a car. I was not familiar with the restaurant so it took me a while to find it. I wore my hair down, a melon colored sundress, and nude strappy heels. On my way to find the place, a casually dressed Hispanic guy in his late twenties complimented my figure and gave me a business card that had Playboy logo on it. I was not flattered or interested in whatever shallow opportunity he had to offer, but was impressed with how polite and professionally he had offered me his slice of scum pie.
Once at the restaurant I met Abercrombie and his friend who was a black guy in his twenties who produced music. I had sent them my demo and was interested in their feedback and any possible contacts they could refer me to in the music industry. As we ate lunch, they very informally told me that I should keep recording and keep writing, but that they didn't see anything interesting in my demo and did not have any ideas where I could shop it. I took their feedback with good manners, though I was internally shattered, then paid for our lunch with a crisp one hundred dollar bill, leaving a lovely tip. I knew guys like them were used to pretty girls expecting a free lunch and they were shocked, but willing to take advantage of my chivalry. Once back at the hotel, I packed my things and prepared for my ride to the airport the next afternoon. My boss had a friend, and business colleague in LA who picked me up and drove me to the airport in one and a half hours of LA traffic. It was way to much time for this older man to sit with me in silence, pondering why a girl my age was flying to Los Angeles on his friend's dime. I let him believe the worst of me and answered his few probing questions with simple evasive answers. My mind was on booking my next appointment and recording new, better songs.
When my plane landed, I turned my phone on and found six voice mails had come through while my phone was off. This was unusual for me since I had no one who regularly checked in on me so I was anxious to hear the messages. I figured my boss wanted to hear about my trip or something. To my surprise, Abercrombie had called, and he brought me the best news I had heard in my life! He had played my music for his friend who was looking for music for an independent film soundtrack and his friend wanted to fly me back to LA to meet me! He left several messages, apologizing for not seeing anything in my music, and trying to arrange flight details. The friend he was talking about was an amazing actor and film producer! I was elated and agreed to get back on a plane later that night that they had booked for me.
To be continued.....
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